Monday, October 15, 2007

What is in a word...

Warning ~ this will be a bit rambling and a bit of a vent, proceed at your own risk.

An apology is a justification or defense of an act or idea, from the Greek apologia (απολογßα). An apology can also be an expression of contrition and remorse for something done wrong.

Forgiveness is the mental, and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offence, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution

These definitions say what I am wanting to say, but they don't do vey well at portraying feelings.   I have a problem with making kids say they are sorry - unless they really mean it, then it is pointless.  And what good does it do? It teaches us when we are older that if we hurt someone (physically or otherwise) we say sorry and it goes away. It teaches us that we can get out of something by simply saying I'm sorry - but does it all go away?

What about the people on the other end? When you say you are sorry or that you apologize, am I supposed to say oh that's ok or I forgive you and go on with life? What if it's not ok? What if I don't forgive (yet or quick enough)?  I know, as Christians, we are to forgive -like we were forgiven.  But sometimes the hurt doesn't go away as fast as you should say I forgive.  What is the time frame - how long do you think about it - what makes you decide to forgive someone? If you hurt me then say sorry immediately, I cannot say it is ok, because it is not.  What about physically - accident or not - if you hurt me, and say your sorry, IT STILL HURTS!! You saying you are sorry does not make my pain go away - me saying it's ok or I forgive doesn't make it stop hurting.  I know holding on to things and rehashing the past is a bit on the highschool level and that is not what I am talking about...there are some things that need to be let go, then there are somethings that may need to be really thought about before they are forgiven.  I do beleive that once you have forgiven the offender, then DROP IT!  It should never be brought up again.

Share your thoughts with me - how quick should we be to forgive - what if we are truly hurt?  I knw that we need to get over and go on with life, but sometimes there is a hurt that don't go away so easy. Any opinions?

*No, I do not have a personal issue - something happened a while ago that made me think about this.


  1. It's interesting to me that when we ask God to forgive us, He doesn't say, "I need a little time". It is instantaneous, and the matter is never called to his mind again. There are many people in my life (family)who have not been willing to forgive that way, so I guess this is a sensitive issue for me. God doesn't call us to be "doormats", and let people walk all over us either. I think sometimes you can tell a sincere apology from a half hearted one too. I always try to think about all the horrible things God has forgiven me for, that are much worse than the person did to me. That helps me put it in perspective for myself, and makes it easier for me to forgive and let it go. I'm it doesn't always work that way, but I wish it did.

  2. How quick is Christ to forgive me - as soon as I ask for it - and he remembers no more - Praise His Name - That is not to say in our humaness that we don't feel the hurt anymore - sometimes it takes time to work through it. --- Just don't hold onto it too tight - be willing to let it go and lay it at his feet. --- There have been times I have had to come humbly before the Lord and say: - "Lord, you have to help me love "so and so" in Jesus name - because in my own strength I can not do it." --- Give it to Him completely - lay it at His cross and do not pick it back up and take it with you. - Love you, Charity

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  4. What comes to mind to me, is Jesus hanging on the cross, saying, "Father FORGIVE them, for they know not what they do." I really believe that even though it's really hard at times, this is the kind of Forgiveness God asks us to have for others. Jesus told the disiples, 70x7, even if that same person keeps offending you and coming back and asking forgiveness, as a Christian we are required to forgive them.

    I agree with the other comments too. God doesn't take a while to decide if He's going to forgive us, and we are to forgive as we are forgiven. I believe that means as God forgives us, not as someone else forgives us.

    Bless you!




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